Auld Lang Syne

I am a liar. I lied when I said I was taking a break from dating. And I lied when I said I would stop obsessing about PAL. But it's not my fault, honest. New friend and potential new blog reader KA recently dished with me about PAL's new nurse girlfriend, who in my mind I saw as a cross between Meg Ryan and Pussy Galore.


"She looks like a chicken Muppet," KA corrected me.

WHAT? This is not what I had in my mind's eye. "A chicken Muppet?" I repeated. I didn't even know what this looked like so I share with you here what a Google image search served up.

"She's skinny and bug eyed. She looks like someone let the air out of her," KA continued.

I am torn. Part of me feels vindicated and relieved. I could not bear the thought of PAL tooling around town with a babe on his arm. It felt good until I thought ... he chose the chicken Muppet over ME.

Then it got better when I went to a holiday party tonight and ran into one of PAL's coworkers. She shared with me that when he is out with her, he does not introduce her as his girlfriend, merely his "friend."

Now I just feel bad for the Muppet. He is doing to her exactly what he did to me - avoidance, ambivalence and denial. Fucker.

But enough about that loser. There are many other losers to talk about. For instance, Spaceman has resurfaced, but only because he wants something from me. But best of all, his iphone is calling me again. He's not calling, just the iphone (see previous posting "Are you there god, it's me, iphone). Just like old times, but without the sex.

Meanwhile things move along sloooowwwly with the new guy - or at least slow by my standards. We've gone out twice this week and spoken two more times, but in my neediness, this still leaves me wondering if he likes me. We belong to the same gym so I paged through the spinning schedule until I saw a class he is taking, so I can "accidentally" run into him tomorrow. Is this fucking high school or what? I'm following the "He's Just Not That Into You" rulebook - I am not calling him, I am not asking him out. But there was nothing about Spin classes in that book so I think I'm good.

Maybe slowly is how normal relationships develop. I have no idea what "normal" is. Is normal falling into bed with someone almost immediately? Going to a strip club on a first date? When abnormal is the norm, how do you know how to behave?

But Christmas is just a few days off and it is snowing like crazy tonight. It's silly to think anything meaningful will happen before the holiday.

And in the meantime, I have a chicken stewing on the stove.