Blinded by the Light

It was unexpected and hit me like a fist to the stomach. I logged into Facebook after being away at a family wedding for the weekend and scanned my friend updates. A former boyfriend (and minor blog character) was listing himself as "in a relationship." Even though I had long ago determined we were not really a good match, it was a sucker punch to see another person advertising his new happy relationship, a task seemingly impossible for me. I saw him last about a month ago (see the "Lost Weekend" post) and somehow always thought if all else failed, I could always call Erik. Another one bites the dust.

Perhaps my bitterness has to do with the date. You see, today would have been my 17th wedding anniversary. Not that I'm sorry about that or anything. But that fact is compounded by my attending a wedding this weekend, that of my niece.

She has married well, a man of Indian descent with a large and prosperous extended family. In fact, I have never been to as large or lavish a wedding in my life. Part of the ceremony involved the groom riding a horse towards the temporary Hindu temple set up at the private country club where the wedding took place. He was on a horse only because an elephant was not easily available.

Since my niece has a Facebook page, I am certain wedding pictures will be posted soon. Another Facebook friend announced to all that she was engaged - a flurry of congratulatory comments followed. I doubt I would know that this minor acquaintance was engaged were it not for this device. Nor would my former paramour's new found love be rubbed in my nose as it was so blatantly today. And no, over the months we dated he never swapped his profile from "single" to "dating." And neither did I.

That's the problem with the Internet and this so-called "social media." It makes you transparent. Unless you are a comment on my Facebook page, in which case you are a snub I can't seem to erase. I was able to tell Facebook I wanted to "see less of Erik," which alas did not make the offending comment go away. Nor am I bitter enough to delete him as a friend all together.

Speaking of transparency, blogs apply to this category as well. About a month ago, I stuck my neck out and asked Spaceman to join me at the wedding this weekend. He declined, citing a trip out of town to Tennessee for business. But a post to his blog yesterday morning seemingly has him in the very local environs of western Maine.

I think I prefer the darkness of ignorance to the blinding truthfulness of the Internet.

Now as I wrap up this post, I try to come up with my customary funny or ironic close. Much like a good man, it's just not coming to me right now.