The Postman Always Rings Twice

I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist that blog title. Because my current victim, I mean, person of interest, is a postal worker.

Since I have spent most of my career pumping out millions of direct mail packages, this surely must be a match made in heaven. He is big into live music, seems to be intelligent, doesn't live too far away and has seen a lot of the world thanks to his time in the service (that would be the Navy, not prison). He golfs but does not ski, so 50/50 there.

He has made it past date #3. First date was dinner and shooting pool at a local dive (my selection, honest). Second date, he came to the tavern where I was performing and hung out all night listening (remember Machine Gun Man, who walked out half way through my first song? Yeah, me too).

Then yesterday we went to Portland Maine together for the day.

It went great until he reached into his pocket at the first shop we went into. His face went gray as he realized he didn't have his WALLET.

Now I know what you're thinking. That is the oldest ploy in the book. But I don't think you can fake that look of total desperation. "I changed what I was wearing 3 times because I was so concerned about looking good for you," he gushed. "I left my wallet in the other pants."

So yes, I paid for the day with the promise that he would pay me back for everything.

What choice did I have - be gracious and have the good time we went on to have, or say "no fucking way," and end the day (and the nascent relationship) on the spot. I took the high road.

So in terms of the deal breakers, he does not seem to embody any of them (although I might want to add "wallet" to the list in hindsight). In case you are wondering, I continue to follow The Rules and they do indeed seem to work.

There is just one leeeeetle thing that concerns me.

He seems to be a doppelganger for my ex. I don't mean the bad qualities, but he totally reminds me of him both physically and in some other respects, not the least of which is his employment (my ex worked for Fedex for decades, a kissing cousin to the USPS). He loves to cook. Grew up with a single parent household with his mother and likes to shop. "And no, I am NOT gay," he protests.

So we'll see where this goes. I'm nothing if not an optimist.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I keep getting plaintive emails from Lonnie Ray. They are more succinct and spaced apart so I give him credit for listening in part to my last tirade. I've moved on; he just didn't get the message!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!