Love Stinks

I know I have been letting my loyal blog readers down by my infrequent posts but let me give you some funny updates. I wish I could tell you that I have been too busy having an intense secret love affair, so involved and discrete that there has been no time to turn on the computer let alone update you, but that would be a lie.

 

A lie, as in what most of the losers I run into tell me constantly. Like the movie Momento, let me work from the present day backwards to get you up to speed.

 

A nice note from a man in upstate NY recently arrived, responding to my online dating ad. He liked that I'm a musician. He liked my glasses. He would be in the Valley this weekend on a trip with his kids and would I meet up with him for coffee? We were to meet today but then I got a surprise email this morning. From his pregnant wife. Yes, she apparently hacked into his email account and sent me this chilling message:

 

"do not meet this man he is not what he says.  he is nothing but lies,  stay away from him he is the worst sort of person there is"

 

OK! Coffee date cancelled. Even if she is the crazy liar, this does not sound like anything I want to inject myself into. NEXT!

 

Then rewind back one night. I enjoyed a concert last night at a local venue, where I was also about two weeks ago for another show. At that time I sat next to a guy who was also by himself. We hit it off and he walked me to my car after the show only to wave a cheery goodbye and leave without asking for my number. So it was nice to run into him again last night. When he did the same thing. He did ask when I'm singing again at a local pub - and promised to stop by to see me there. Not holding my breath.

 

Then back 2 more days to Hoot Night. It was like the Homecoming of the Damned. There was Vinny the Firefighter (from last spring)  whose tiny close-set eyes lit up when he saw me at the bar. "Baby! Where have you been?" he exclaimed as he literally hung off my arm. "You gotta give me another chance, baby, you broke my heart!"

 

His crooning was interrupted by the presence of Mr. I Don't Find You Attractive from last summer (see previous post) who walked up to me, apparently forgetting his previous conversation with me, "Hi Beautiful!"

 

My eyes scanned the room desperately looking for some friends at a table, somewhere to escape. But there were none. What's that song? Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right.

 

So I played my set and sat down, approached by another man fan, who proceeded to critique my music and tell me what I can do to improve it. I scurried out the door at my earliest convenience.

 

Then last weekend, the return of Ed the Engineer. You know, the one who had a "funeral" where he got back together with his Ex.  Against all common sense, I agreed to go out with him again after things did not work out with the ex. A wonderful night out with wine and music followed by no phone calls all week and a lame email saying he's been busy. What the fuck? Why bother?

 

A call from a friend yesterday with whom I hadn't spoken for months. Asked me how the love life was going. "Not much going" I replied. Then I went into the litany of everything that is great about my wonderful life - health, financial security, good friends, good job, lovely place to live. Why can't that be enough?