Ask a Guy

After the latest dating debacle, I decided to go my merry way and return to the social scene here in the mecca of NoCo and go out to my favorite tavern last night to play a few tunes and down a few beers. So imagine my surprise when I spy Mr. I Find You Unattractive lurking in the corner of the bar like a daddy-long-legs in a screen porch.

I attempted to ignore him and sat down with friends. No such luck - he is so socially inept that he comes over, thrust his hand between me and my friend and says "hi!" as he shook my hand. I said "hi" and then turned my back to him and continued my conversation. I left the bar shortly thereafter - I couldn't stand the sight of him.

When I got home I found an "Ask a Guy" forum on a dating site I frequent. I read some other posts and they were amusing so I posted my latest story and got these replies, most of whom back my friends' assertions that he is a whack job:

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He sounds like an idiot and perhaps unstable. I would let your friends know about this guy. That way if he shows up at more of your hangouts they can tactfully get you away from him or not so tactfully make it clear to him that's he's not wanted.
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You were always borderline to him. He decided to do a few dates, but after further reflection, he decided that he was not really into you. I do have to agree ... I probably would have called to break it off, but he chose to do it in person and at work; that is a little odd.
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He sounds like he's socially retarded and that was his way of telling you he lost interest. Just...avoid him.
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Possibly he is a couple croutons shy of a salad and you are better off w/o him. There are many blind leads in dating.
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Creepy, crazy, stalker! get your restraining order ready.
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I deal with retarded men daily. that is a specialty of mine. get your restraining order ready save yourself the drama. DO not take him lightly.
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guy goes to her work just to tell her he thinks she is unattractive? that's not normal behavior. that is someone who is unstable. period, he went out of his way to insult her. its not like they were sitting on the couch at home.
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I am wondering why he bothered to rush over to your work to tell you he isn't interested. It sounds like he's so afraid you'll reject him that he wants to save face by delivering the shot first.
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He probably likes you but fears he's put himself out there too far without receiving some affection in kind. Making an ass out of yourself in front of your friends requires taking potentially self-deprecating risks, and he probably thinks he's communicated his interest in you.
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this guy sounds like a socially inept fool. Erase all contact with him, and if he seems to "pop up" in some more familiar places, call the cops or something.
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The next time (if there is a next time) he approaches you with whole handshake B/S or a similar routine, you remind him that he doesn't find you attractive, and tell him that you don't find people attractive that don't find you attractive, and that come to your work to tell you that. Tell him that if he has trouble remembering that you have no desire to talk to his crazy azz again, you will be happy to help him with a kick in the nads. Well, maybe not the nads kick part, but the rest would do nicely.

Crazy....crazy I tell you.

Oh yes, and you are definitely attractive. I don't know what his problem is. If you ever find your way to Portland Oregon, look me up
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And this one from what must have been a psychologist:

What most likely happened is that he is dissatisfied with some aspect of your budding relationship, lord knows what, and is trying to break it off. This is hard to do, at least for him, and the tension and conflict (he is both drawn to and repelled from you) is crazy making (he is likely feeling clinical anxiety, as in an anxiety attack and can't think straight in those conditions). If he stays away from you and you stay away from him, he should go on with life and, then just a memory. There are all sorts of possibilities, but somehow what was happening resulted in a lot of anxiety and he's trying to defend against it, and of course, making a fool of himself. The thing about irrational behavior like that is that it is his problem; if he starts to make it yours through some delusion, then be careful. All you did was to be friendly and open.
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First of all, why did he give you his number? A real man doesn't do that. A real man asks the woman for her number. So he instantly seems like an idiot from the start.

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This is beyond egregious-bad manners, even beyond television. It doesn't sound safe, either. I hope you're able to stay out of his way.

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Then there were those that blamed me for letting him know where I work - although those that know me know that my position is rather public and not a well kept secret. I was introduced by a mutual friend who shared my job right off the bat because it is just ... so ... damn... cool. That and the radio ad I am currently broadcasting that you'd have to be brain dead to NOT recognize as my voice. I might as well have had my employer's name tattooed on my forehead.

But that being said, I should take some of the blame for inviting this guy into my work and home too quickly. "You are just too nice to everyone," one friend shared last night. To think that this is a fault in this day and age is disheartening, but I guess it is.