The Virgin Queen

I am so lucky. I have so many awesome girlfriends I can call when the latest loser shits all over me. The "I don't find you attractive" asshole seems to have rung a particularly discordant note with my network of gal pals.

George the Cat opines that he is an controlling asshole using abusive techniques to manipulate me. My turning on my heel and walking away was just the right thing to do. Good for me! I feel better now. I never thought of it that way!

My sister suggested I immediately go back online to find someone else. "I don't mean to sound like Ma," (she said, sounding exactly like Ma), "But you are NOT getting any younger. Time is of the essence!" She has been married 3 times so she knows about this. I am concerned.

Gal Pal Kate says he pre-emptively dumped me anticipating my dumping HIM. Another controlling technique. OK!

Michelle can't believe the assholes that are out there. I agree - it's stunning!

I am exporting the contents of my blog now in an attempt to edit them down to submit them to a publisher. It comes to 98 single-spaced pages. I took an hour to go through, in reverse chronological order. I only made it back to April 2009! I am exhausted just going back one season. To think it's been 4 years since I told my ex. I wanted a divorce.

Last Friday I invited Corrine the tarot card reader over for dinner (see previous post). I can listen to her Hollywood stories for hours. Honestly, she is the most interesting person I have ever met. She told me about dating Steve Guttenberg and Bob Guccioni Jr., and her appearances on All of My Children and Night Court. She currently enjoys wearing flannel and my kitchen counter is as far as she will venture.

"Did you watch the films about Queen Elizabeth?" she asked over a glass of wine Friday, after I told her of my latest dating abuses. I had. I am a big history buff. "After her lover betrayed her and tried to overthrow her court, she painted her face white and returned to court announcing she was now the Virgin Queen. That is where I am in my life now. I'm OK with it."

After being married FIVE times (not a typo) she is taking a break. This is inspirational.

I spent today alone. I mean, ALONE - no plans with anyone. It was hard and wonderful at the same time. I got up early, went on a 10 mile bike ride, washed my car, finished a novel while at the beach, then read magazines by my swimming pool all afternoon. No kids, no friends, no man - and I am working hard on this being OK.

Maybe the problem isn't the lack of companionship - maybe it's the need for it at all.