Fools in Love

So I'd like to take a moment to thank all my blog readers for their reaction to the horrifying syntax of my latest love interest, Lonnie Ray. I too am horrified at his writing skills but I have to tell you, in person, there is no relation between his verbal skills and his writing abilities. It's like he's hired a fourth grader to send his emails to me.

He has been a charming, affectionate and overwhelmingly NORMAL person, other than his apparent love of exclamation points in emails.

In reviewing my previous post on deal breakers, writing skills did not even break the top 5. So why are you all up in arms about this guy?

"What do you mean you're going on a second date? Are you joking?" scolded gal pal Michelle. "This has disaster written all over it."

"Lace up your running shoes and run... run fast!" added blog reader KM after reading the last posting.

KJ on the other hand has taken up writing her own emails in his style:

"I wish you luck bekause if I want to be happy with handsome man oneday I help you very special happy karma!"

Since I actually like this guy I'm thinking of sending him my own email with a list of rules to try to remedy the situation:

1. No inappropriate use of exclamation point. For instance, "Look out for that Mac Truck!" - that is appropriate. "I really enjoyed meeting you!!!!!!!!" - not appropriate.

2. No making up words. Enjoyful is not a word even though it sounds like it should be. It's not.

3. Your = possessive (your boyfriend is a loser); You're = a contraction for "you are" (You're dating a loser). Get it straight or get lost.

4. Do not use email like instant messaging or a text message. Don't send emails that say "are you there?" I'm not. If you don't get a response to your first email, don't send 3 more asking if I got the last 2 or if I'm mad at you.

Just so you don't think he's a complete loser (I don't think he is), I'm posting his photo. Isn't he kinda cute?

I know what you thinking but I can tell you in person he does NOT look anything like Jeff Foxworthy. I am ambivalent about the moustache but it works for him. Plus I hear they are making a comeback. Hey, if it's good enough for Nick Cage, it's good enough for me and Lonnie Ray. Here is a whole gallery of movie stars and their 'staches. I'm feeling better now.